Monday, October 30, 2006

An open letter to Mister Spider who is residing outside my front door.

Dear Spider Sir,

I noticed that you have decided to bunk down on the handrail of my front porch. Aaron won't let me dispose of you because he says you eat bad bugs. Looking at the size of you I think I maybe willing to take my chances with these bugs from the wrong side of the tracks. Honestly... don't you have a better spot to call your home? I hear Florida is nice this time of year. Take the tv... take the cat (sorry stu)... whatever... just move along.

The resident behind the big green door


  1. OMG that's big....can you just relocate him to another part of your property. Say....the back of the garage?!

  2. If she's a momma jewel spider, her abdominal megg sac will burst open any day now, her babies will split her wide open, and then they will take off on the breezes with a web chute. Spider problem solved!

    P.S. - She eats wasps. Reason enough for her to stay....

  3. don't kill the spider, please...more than likely she'll find another place to hang out (!) in the next few days, especially if it gets colder...spiders are beneficial bugs (good job, Aaron) and are needed in a healthy garden...

    tree hugging hippie

  4. I can't believe this! I have the exact same freaking spider that just started webbing outside my French doors. It's huge! So huge that I fear it may grow big enough to capture my 30 lbs puppy. :-/

  5. i live in florida. no thank you..we have enough bugs. it's really not spiders that i hate..just their franticness *shivers at the thought*.. tell the hubby to just gently move it to the neighbors house you like the least!

  6. I have many spiders outside both my doors. I don't "remove" them because I dare not touch them and have them leap toward my jugular. I like that maybe they eat wasps, but mine don't. I see many wasps outside too, which trigger an fear that can not be rationalized away... a fear so strong, I am afraid to carry my baby outside, worried that a wasp will fly near and send me into a drop-the-baby-and-run tizzy.