Friday, October 20, 2000

One Free Kill Theory

I must say I like Tina's "Glidden Gun" plan. I used to wish my car's horn had different volume and tones. So I could beep a polite, "You shut your purse strap in the car door" honk, or a bellowing "You cut me off you stinkin', rottin' good for nothin'" honk.

Then the thought of blasting paint at the dirty so and so that pulled in front of me sounded very appealing. I was explaining Tina's idea to Joel and I said "... and it would wash off of course" and he replied "Hah! No! I want it to stay. Number 1, it would be even more of a deterrent and Number 2, it would always be there and if you saw a car going down the road completely covered with paint then you would know they were an a**hole. It's just a milder form of the One Free Kill Theory."

Now I found his response highly amusing. But the whole "One Free Kill Theory" rather frightens me. It's the concept that everyone in the world has One Free Kill. They can request, carry out, authorize the death of one person, without any repercussions. But you only get one. The idea is that you would think twice before cutting someone off in traffic for fear they may still have their "One Free Kill" and use it on you. The result is supposed to be a more polite, considerate society.

I see problems arising from this. People auctioning off their Free Kills on Ebay to the highest bidder and so on. And with my luck I'd get killed off for something inane like unknowingly taking the last jar of Marshmallow Fluff at the Wegmans.

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