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Open Letters

Dear Lady in the Parking Lot,

I am sorry I jumped and didn't respond when you walked by me and shouted "Hello"! It was quite early in the morning. You took me by surprise, but it was a very friendly gesture.

Gratefully Yours, The Girl with Messy Hair and Too Many Bags
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Dear Oscar,

Please don't sleep on my head anymore. I nearly passed out when I saw what I thought to be dozens of white hairs on my head, but turned out to be yours. It was very disconcerting.

Thanks, Your Owner
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Dear Mr. Trump,

I don't know you, but might I suggest you try a new hairdo? Your oddly groomed coif is the topic of our lunch time conversations. You could do with a new look. Perhaps no one has mentioned it to you as of yet.

Sincerely, A Concerned Television Viewer